Blessings from God

I sent my mom an email this morning, and at the end of it, I said, "Little boy will be a year old a week from today. Wow! I was on steroids at this point last year and praying for a miracle. God is so good." I feel compelled to tell you all that story and about just how good God is.

I've been thinking back to a year ago today, and I can remember it very well. I was totally off bedrest, 37 weeks pregnant, just starting steroids, and as I said in my email, praying for a miracle. And, I had a lot more people praying for a miracle for me, too. Apparently, some women's immune systems take a little beating when they get pregnant resulting in low platelets of pregnancy, and I was one of those women. Having low platelets during the pregnancy wasn't really ever all that big of a deal, because the platelets never got dangerously low so that there was a threat of me free-bleeding. It became more of a deal when it was closer to time for Hayden to be born.

Since the platelets were so low, there would be risks involved in having an epidural or spinal...so I was either going to have him naturally with no pain medication or be completely put to sleep by C-section. I was prepared to have him naturally if that is what had to happen, but there was always the chance that he would be hard-headed and wouldn't want to come. And, I didn't mind having a C-section, but I wouldn't be able to be awake to see him being born...and I really wanted to see him be born and see his first breaths outside of my belly.

So, my doctor put me on steroids at 37 weeks pregnant, because occasionally, the platelet levels will rise with steroids. The last woman my doctor put on steroids for the same condition came back in a week later, and her platelets levels actually got lower. I was nervous during that entire week but confident that I would be taken care of no matter what, and when I returned for my 38-week checkup, my platelets were high enough for me to have an epidural or spinal. I would return to the hospital the next day, July 22, 2008, to be induced and give birth to my son. Yay!

I was hooked to Pitocin early the next morning and was in labor for 7 hours with no pain medication and a very hard-headed son that didn't want to do anything at all other than stay in my belly. The decision was made to have a C-section, but because the platelets were high enough, I would be able to have a spinal and be AWAKE to see our son born. Hayden was born at 2:14 pm that afternoon with both Daddy and Mommy watching behind our little curtain. :o)

I cannot begin to tell you all how blessed I have been to see God working in my life. You see, I was praying for a miracle and hoping I would be awake when my son was born, and God allowed me to do just that. From a disappearing nodule in my lung to completely curing a stomach issue that nearly put me in the hospital with feeding tubes, I can't even begin to tell you story after story of the miracles God has performed in my life and the ways He has placed His protective hand over me.

There have been some rough times along the way, too. Chris and I have both been through some very difficult family situations, and we've had lots of heartache along the way. Through all of that still, God's invisible hand was guiding and turning the situations and taking care of us beyond belief. From the timing of it all to the people involved and so much more, all of the "coincidences" that have happened along the way have been 0% coincidence and 100% God. You have no idea.

I am so overwhelmed right now thinking about it all. It's not about the miracles God has performed in my life or the tough times He has allowed me to go through. It's not about seeing Hayden being born or having something really tough happen at just the right time. All of that is wonderful, but it is about God in his sovereignty weaving it all about to accomplish His good and perfect will. And, I am lucky enough to sit back and watch Him do it. There are so many times when I wonder why God allowed me to see so many miracles in such a short span of time and so many other times when I am wondering just what He is up to when I seem to be going through a huge mess. Sadly, I believe so many times it took something huge to knock me off my feet and put me on my knees. But, it is not up to me to understand God or his sovereignty. It is up to me to trust Him and to use each situation as an opportunity to glorify Him. So many times, I make a mess of the situation, but God doesn't give up on me and never will. I am so thankful for that.

So many people love the verse Romans 8:28, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God..." You see, I love that verse, too...but I prefer to keep going. Pick up your Bible and continue reading through verse 31. That verse that so many people use applies only to those who are called or to the elect...in other words, it applies to those who have salvation by trusting in Jesus ALONE as their Savior and Lord. In each and every situation that you go through if you have trusted in Jesus ALONE, God is "working" it for your "good" or for your benefit.

So maybe you are seeing one of God's many miracles, or maybe you are going through some tough times. Rest assured that God is in control of the situation no matter how wonderful or how difficult it might be. He is using it to weave and mold you into the person he wants you to be. Trust in Him alone. Lean not on yourself. These are the sweet words He is whispering to you.

Do you know Him? I pray that you do. I may be a huge mess, but I am God's mess. And one day, I will trade this mess for a perfect body and will live in a world just the way God intended it to be - perfect! I can't wait. Hope to see you there!